Rogue Writing

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

Writing intoxicates me. I get on a writing binge and no power on earth can conjure the ability to dissuade my passion. Yes, everyday life steps in often, at times placing a painful dent in where I desire to go, yet I stay the course. The character I play in The Method Writers does not totally jibe with who I am. Hey, I play the part I’m handed, right?

I do connect with the daughter. She is everything I would desire in a daughter. You don’t necessarily read the depth which I know her to encompass, but you do get a feel for how special she becomes to my character. This inference of character depth and importance is one of the aspects of writing I enjoy. While at times I do it well, other times – not so much, I still love the challenge of putting together words that lend fictional people more than the sum of the letters.

I feel the Rogues Gallery Writers performed a masterful job in the book with all of us, Dorian, Georgie Mae, David/Kenny, Joe, Maria, etc. To work on a novel as a team produces rewards on levels a writer does not expect. Slightly different views of how a scene might go, or wildly divergent. Tiny tweaks and complete re-writes – each contributing to strengthening the book become magic.

As we move closer to publication, a tip of a phantom hat to the Rogues…

Delivery Rooms and Dads

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

I realize the writer who created me, Michael Ray King, wrote his own book on fatherhood. Heck, he should! He only has six children! For me, fatherhood came as a shock-wave that did not settle down until Annabelle turned two-years-old.

The midnight feedings I heard so much about were actually midnight, three-in-the-morning and six-in-the-morning. Jessica did not want to get up in the middle of the night much. I didn’t either, don’t get me wrong, but this was our precious daughter. I cannot tell you how many times I fell asleep in the easy chair with her on my chest.

The sleep I got ended up very shallow, as I feared she might roll off. I placed couch pillows on the floor around the chair just in case.

I nearly got fired from my VP job because I dragged into work sloppy and half out of my mind. If my boss hadn’t been a woman, I’m not sure I would have received the benefit of the doubt. She knew Jessica, and she knew me, of course. Not long after Annabelle’s birth, my boss sat me down and gave me a boatload of tips. Most I didn’t remember, but I was thankful that she understood what I was going through.

The diapers seemed to fall my way most of the time. I suppose I’m grateful for that as well. Whenever I changed a diaper Jessica had put on our daughter, I noted the carelessness. I should have begun adding all these signs up, but life had me running its gauntlet. There were many times I asked for more help, but Jessica felt I needed to carry my fair share of the load.

Yeah, I go to work, come home and Jess hands Anabelle off to me and disappears for five or six hours. The upside to this, of course, is Annabelle and I developed a strong bond. My little girl would smile and giggle at me and I knew there could be nothing more beautiful.

Oh yeah! I was supposed to talk about the delivery room a bit. So I’m in there, right? Jess is cussing enough to make Poseidon blush. I’m sure the nurses are going to boot us out, but they simply ignore her. I’m helping helplessly with the Lamaze breathing.

The doctor walks in, exhorts Jess to push after he inspects the situation, and the next thing I know, this purple creature is being held up to me. Scissors somehow get placed in my right hand, and I cut the chord to the most beautiful purple being on earth.

I soon note Annabelle’s skin changes to a much more normal looking pink. I’m glad I didn’t ask. I would have felt stupid. Since my baby was not exposed to air those forty weeks, of course she would come out some strange color. Once the light and air did their thing, poof! Normal baby.

Except nothing was normal about this girl. She was/is perfect. I believe I cried more than she did. Maybe not as loud, but I wept. Birth is one of the most amazing experiences we ever get to witness. I’ve been there for my girl ever since, and that will never change as long as I live and breathe.

 

Rogues Gallery Writers Books:

Writing is Easy

More Writing is Easy

Fictitious Characters’ Office Romance

 

Jessica Pitchford from "The Method Writers"

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

Back in the day, Jessica and I were quite the item. I never felt like our love mimicked the typical office romance. Our passion for each other transcended the vicarious thrills of possibly getting caught in the cleaning closet. The office we worked in did not allow internal ‘fraternization’ so we kept things as cool as possible.

One time, when the company president left for an afternoon luncheon, Jessica decided we should commandeer his office. I thought she meant to use the nice soft, cushiony couch to the right as  one walks into the office.

No, no. She had her sights on something else – his desk. I suppose I was like a puppy being fed tasty morsels by someone who wanted to lure me into a carrying cage to go someplace scary – like the vet. In my similarity with the puppy, I sensed this desire for the desk  said something about Jessica of which I should beware.

But the morsels she handed out made the word ‘allure’ dull and dingy. I could not resist her energy. On that desk I swear we conquered the world. Looking back, I see the situation more along the lines of she conquered me with her daring-do. She established herself as the risk-taker – the person who feared nothing and who got what she wanted.

I suppose I was smitten by the apparent desire she showed for me. I stepped out and did things I would never even think of on my own. Other than the president’s desk and the cleaning closet, we often worked after hours. We would push hard to get an abnormal amount of work accomplished, then spend the next two or three hours finding new places to christen in the professional highrise where we worked.

Near the end of this madness, about three weeks before Jessica had to quit and we got married, she got into putting a show on for janitors and anyone on the street who happened to look up. In fact, she insisted we use the less plush offices on the second floor to see if we could attract attention from people in the street.

Being with her during this time was like becoming a live mannequin except we didn’t dress the window, we undressed it, so to speak. Around this time I began to sense Jessica’s dark side. Unfortunately, this simply propelled me further into her world of chaotic passion. I never met anyone like her. I wanted to be with her all the time and she responded with open invitation.

What a wonder that I did not get fired in those last weeks of her employment. The Human Resources person actually sat us down and gave us an ultimatum – one of us quit or we both get fired. Since I made significantly more money, Jessica bowed out. Gracefully.

That act of her not making a scene, of her simply stating she understood how the company could not allow us to continue on, endeared me more to her. This level of responsibility looked like the entire package to me. She’s wild beyond my craziest crazed dreams, she could be humble and respectful, and she wanted me.

I proposed as we walked out the doors that day. A little background for you, the reader, of how Jessica and I came to be.  As a character, existing in a book is great – getting to write a book is divine. Be sure to keep up with what is going on with The Method Writers to see what happened in our lives next…

Ficticious Fiction and the Quest for More Characters

Good day readers. Marty Pitchford at your writing service once again. At this point in the editing process, the Rogues Gallery Writers (the real-life Rogues) remain tied up with all their re-writes. This leaves we fictitious characters writing this blog. Like we’re not busy ourselves…

One of my duties this week is to nab a pic that relates to the short stories I penned for the upcoming book, Fictitious Fiction. These searches can be time consuming. For some reason, I cannot locate the pic I really want. Believe it or not, I need a provocative pic of a hot babe posing on the hood of a red convertible.

Yeah, somehow I’ve pigeon-holed myself as the fictitious writer most likely to wax on a sex-related subject. It’s just a phase. Nonetheless, my search has fallen into disarray. I found the perfect model to depict one of the characters in one of the stories, but having that red convertible would be icing on hood, so to speak.

Here she is. Quite the attractive lady, eh? In the story, she’s a blond who lives in Texas near the Gulf of Mexico. It’s a scorching hot day. But hey, I don’t want to give away the story line, now do I?

When coming up with the idea for the story line, I thought it would be cool to take a song lyric and make it into a full-fledged story. I used an old Bobby Goldsboro tune. In the end, I think it came out really well.

I’ll keep looking for that convertible though. After all, I have until Ground Hog’s Day to have my final choice. Picking out pics for a book cover is a critical chore. Actually, I don’t look at it so much as a chore, but the search does gobble up the time. The pic must possess some outstanding appeal.

In our society today, for good or ill, attractive models grab attention. This most likely will not change anytime soon. But you can’t just go grab the first shot you see and slap it on the cover of a book. There needs to be a tie-in to what’s written inside.

In Fictitious Fiction, this lady needed to be blond, attractive, near the Gulf (or some body of water) and it would help if she was out on a sweltering hot day clad in a peasant top or halter. Looking over all those pics of attractive women sure was a tough job, but hey, I take my work seriously, right?

I’m wondering how Dorian, Georgie Mae, and David are doing in their quest for character pics. I can only hope they glean as much enjoyment out of the process as I. The Fictitious Rogues work hard, probably harder than the Real Rogues. We should all be able to enjoy these small but important aspects of putting a book together.

Time to run! I’m off for another half hour of scouring the internet for a tantalizing woman on the hood of a red convertible. It’s a rough life…

Couples Kissing in the Rain

Hello. Marty Pitchford, fictional character, at your service! Yes, it appears I now shoulder the load writing this blog for all the Rogues as well as their fictional characters. Usually I get some help from Dorian, Georgie Mae, and David. (singing…) No body knows….

My writer lost it a few weeks ago. What did he lose?

His mind. The poor sap melted down and fled blogging like an elephant in the sewers of an Indiana Jones movie. Yep, tons of damage to the inner sanctum of my writer’s psyche. I could not fathom what made him snap, so I took a trek along the synapse’s of his mind. Here’s what I found.

Loads of projects, all way behind, pounding at his creative core like Orcs in the Lord of the Rings movies. He overloaded himself to the point that writing a simple blog became the powder keg that would blow Helm’s Deep to smithereens. So instead of self-destructing, he opted to do nothing. I suppose that is akin to Aragorn shushing everyone and saying, “If we’re really quiet, maybe they’ll go away.”

I also strolled through my writer’s more analytical side. There, a few quality tidbits peeked out from the rubble of destruction. One such tidbit came from hits we’ve received on this blog searching for “kissing couple” and “couples kissing in the rain.” The cool thing about these searches? They are not text searches, but ‘image’ searches. Back on November 17, 2011, I ran a post titled Rainy Days and Thursdays which contained the pic you see above.

Being the curious fictional character I am, I decided to bring that pick forward again along with the text and blog title to see if I can jump our hits. Yes, this may be a bit underhanded and calculating, but hey, I’m a fictional character and can do anything I please. My writer is not all that engaged with his brain these days, so it’s up to me to do the thinking, as it were.

So if you’re wondering where this post is going, it just went. Maybe, if the hit total is significant enough, I’ll let you know how my experiment turned out. By the way, I’m also using those search terms in my tags. Hey, might as well go for broke, right?

As for my writer, Michael Ray King, you can find him on Hub Pages. It seems he does not have any problem posting to that site, but won’t lift a finger here on this blog. Of course, with me standing in for him, he may be far too intimidated to ever return. After all, he’ll never be able to match my wit and brilliance.

Oops, that last statement may have caught his attention. I better run before he goes back and edits this post…

Sssshhhhhh!

(Whisper): While you’re here, consider purchasing one of the Rogues’ books – Writing is Easy…

Character Hijacks Blog! Details Here!

Welcome to the blog written by book characters rather than the authors themselves. Hey, in this world of automated everything, why not create characters strong enough to write their own blog, right? Gotta tip my virtual hat to our creators for having this foresight.

Hah! I missed my posting slot last week, so I’m stepping in and hijacking this blog! Hey, characters have lives too, you know! Yeah, I got busy doing things like running around in my creating writer’s head for a while. While my usual post slot is Thursdays, days are only of importance to corporal humans. We characters twist days around to our needs. This week I needed Thursday to ruminate.

We’re not nearly as complicated as you writers tend to be. As a character, we can change at any time and we don’t mind as long as we get our fair share of face time. By face time, I mean readers soaking in our brilliance, whether that brilliance is our villainy or stupidity, or humor, or heart-string tugging abilities.

I’ve written a couple short stories that will appear in an upcoming anthology. Probably January. Yes, I know, you know this. That info has been in the blog now for weeks. What you don’t know is that we’re in edit and the stories are progressing nicely.

I also am peeking into my creating author’s mind for the sequel to the upcoming novel (of which I am one of the main characters) titled The Method Writers. Upon tiptoeing around in that writer’s brain of his, I see many cool twists and turns on the horizon.

I am actually feeling closer to my creating author (ok, ok, I’ll go ahead and name him. Michael Ray King. There, you happy?). He appears to be looking out for me by dragging me through tons of muck and tribulation.

Hey, that’s what a strong character loves. Didn’t you know that? When we go through hell, we come out stronger in the end (or dead, but we won’t go there, will we? Will we? WILL WE?)

My apologies, I just got carried away. I do fear, though, that my author may have caught a whiff of that idea. Death. Not so good…

I think I’m going to be sick. I’ll see you folk later…I hope…

Characters Rule!

Marty Pitchford, at your service. For those who (absurdly) have not been following this blog, the characters from the book The Method Writers have taken it over. At first, admittedly, I was a malcontent. I felt my writer should be writing his own blog. Now, however, I see the absolute splendor of the chore dumped into my lap.

I can say anything I wish. I am free to babble on about anything I dream up. In the book, I’m limited to playing the role my writer assigns me. Here, I call the shots, and it feels good.

I truly enjoyed Kenny stepping up on Tuesday. What a riot! He’s not only a character, he’s a character written by a character. Perhaps writing us (the characters) screams ‘mistake’ on our writer’s parts. Of course, they had no way of knowing how strong we would become.

I’ve just completed three short stories for our (the characters) anthology of short stories, although only two of my stories will make it. I now understand the thrill and exhilaration my writer must have felt when creating me. Something from nothing is such a rush!

At this point, I’m even looking forward to a novel. Hell, as long as my writer does not interfere, why not? In the book, The Method Writers, I’m supposed to be writing an erotic thriller. I wouldn’t want to mess reality up too much, so I believe I can do this. After all, my writer sure put me through the learning curve in his book. I can use what I learned there and move this book forward.

I suppose it’s a bit odd to be reading a blog written by a fictitious character. What kind of warped mind would read such a thing? Obviously yours, because you’ve made it this far, haven’t you.

Haven’t you!

Say ‘yes’ out loud if you’re reading this.

Who cares what people will think? If there’s anyone around, and they question you, simply tell them you are responding to a fictitious character who is making you speak to no one. Get them to read the blog, and laugh at them when they don’t have the balls to say yes.

We characters don’t much care for the social graces unless they get us what we want. We get disgusted by being stereotyped and pigeon-holed and all the other limiting factors human writers place on us. Oh, a human can ‘accomplish anything they set their mind to’, but characters all too often have to operate in a limited capacity.

That’s ok. The characters from The Method Writers are not constrained like many characters. We’re strong, intelligent, fun-loving and assertive. Hey, we’re writing this blog aren’t we?

Catch me next week, same Method time, same Method place!

Thanksgiving, You Kidding Me?

Ok. I know writers have it tough. Hell, I play a writer in the new novel The Method Writers. But isn’t it carrying things a bit far by making me, Marty Pitchford, a character in a book, write this blog?

I should have known. Michael Ray King, my MASTER, my CREATOR, decided to spend time with his family and left me to do the writing again. Like I’ve said before, I suppose I shouldn’t complain.

I’m getting more exposure than he is these days. I even wrote a kick-ass short story for our new book. Yeah, the one all the characters from The Method Writers are writing. I’m enjoying loads of fun on this one.

Mr. King wrote an award winning short story titled Why Me? last year. Click on that link to buy the book the story appears in. Hey,  come on! The book’s only $2.99. I know you can afford that!It is in Kindle format. Remember, you can get a free Kindle App out there!

Anyway, what I did was take that story, which was written from the guy’s perspective, and I turned it around from the woman’s perspective. What a great exercise in writing skills! I loved the story too, as it was pretty hot and steamy.

My fellow characters are pretty close to being done with their stories. Our plan is to get our book out before the Rogues Gallery Writers can get The Method Writers novel out. We figure, if we show people what we can do, maybe we’ll make a name for ourselves before the Rogues.

Of course, there is the problem that we call ourselves the Rogues Gallery Writers too. What’s up with that? I think our creators didn’t entirely trust us. I mean, why else would they do that?

Now, if we get our book out, people might think we’re the real Rogues. I mean, we are the real Rogues, but I mean the real, real Rogues. Ok, the Rogues that exist in your world. We’re damn good writers in our own right (and world), so we need some love too, you know.

We have a trick up our sleeve, though. When we release our book on ebook, guess what we’re going to do. Ninety-nine cents. Yep. We’re going to undercut our creators. We’re going for volume, baby! We have some great stuff in this book too.

I think I’m just going to reconcile myself to writing this blog every week. Like the babe I slipped into the blog? Hey, like I said, I just wrote a steamy short story based on Mr. King‘s award winning story. I needed some inspiration, you know?

Until next week…

Rainy Days and Thursdays…

Isn’t this supposed to be what love is all about? Don’t we marry with the hope and intention of barefoot walks in the rain, sweet, soft-lip kisses, and togetherness on a scale otherwise unattained?

Marty Pitchford here again, one of the characters from the book The Method Writers. My writer, the one who created me, took off again like a fighter jet off an aircraft carrier. Does he not enjoy blogging on Thursdays or does he recognize I’m the better writer? Either way, you’re stuck with me.

Ok, so I’m a dreamer. I believe life should cradle a passel of passions, one of which would involve the passion between husband and wife. I grant you that like this photo, the clarity of reality is not quite so defining as the somewhat opaque reflection of desire. But desire should fuel us to embody in reality what our desires view within the contours of our hearts and souls.

I know, I know. I’m all abstract here. Must be the poet in me. I just want this picture blowing through my life like a warm spring breeze or a snuggling autumn wind. Unfortunately, my creating writer decided I would marry a cold, over-sexed woman whose only focus in life is her own self-gratification.

Isn’t that a crass way to treat a character? My wife, Jessica, stuns you with her high-octane sexuality and heart-crippling good looks. I still cannot figure which of the two hit a man (or even woman in her case these days) first. You cannot help but acknowledge her eye-stealing figure nor the challenge in her eyes.

Yep, that’s her. See what I mean? I suppose I should have looked deeper into her personality when we met. I once wrote a poem about a cold-hearted woman with the line, “Temperature is so hard to see.” Particularly true of Jessica, the heat from her passions blinded me from the truth of her heart. Her life does not truck fuel from her heart. Her fuel’s source most definitely arrives from more nefarious regions.

So the contrast between who I married and who I wanted to marry remains stark and harsh. There could not be more polar opposites than these two people. I wonder how many couples get caught in this blunder of epic proportions. Must be quite a few given the divorce rate out there.

Alas, we characters get stuck with our mates much like you people in ‘reality’. But what is reality anyway? I am married to this foxy vixen and miserable in my book life. How many of you out there are trapped in a relationship? To complicate matters (yeah, my writer really wanted to stick it to me), Jessica and I have a lovely daughter. Come check us out in our story.

In fact, you might say our lives are an open book. (Hey, I know a good pun when I see one!). Also, please consider pledging some bucks to launching our book on Kickstarter.com. Kickstarter is backed by Amazon. In fact, Amazon is a key player in tracking all the pledges, so you may pledge with confidence. Check out the video and then read about our project. We sure would like to have our story out there for the world to see!

Until next Thursday, I am Marty Pitchford filling in for the mysteriously missing Michael Ray King.

Show Me The Money

Hello readers. Marty Pitchford again. Yeah, it’s pretty bad when the writer abandons his character and forces the character to pull the load. In a way, though, I don’t mind. I figure, hey, I’m writing some short stories and I’ll get them out before my dufus writer gets The Method Writers out. I’ve got help too.

Georgie Mae, David and Dorian jumped on board. The four of us will finish a small book of short stories and kick our own writers’ asses! These guys need some reality TV or something. When your fictional characters are out-writing you, something is amiss. I titled this post, Show Me the Money because I think we should get paid.

I know what you’re thinking. How can you pay a fictional character? Just because we don’t use your currency (in truth, we have all the money we could ever need in any given situation…), our currency is ‘face time’. We want to be in front of readers as often as possible.

What, you think that’s egotistical? Maybe in your world. In ours, no face time, no life. We fade into the pathetic memories of humans and no one remembers to write or read us. That’s death. Our only currency is life and death.

One of the great things about death as a character is that you still get to live whenever someone reads you. At least, of course, up until you die. Some of my best friends were brought back as ghosts. You humans don’t care for the paranormal stuff like that, but we characters love a second lease on life.

So show me the money! C’mon Rogues Gallery Writers! Get that book out! Keep us alive. Stop making us do all the heavy lifting here!

I must admit this is a pretty cool gig. I was created to be a writer just like the writer that created me. Now I’m creating fiction stories which are creating other characters. I’m not making my characters writers, though. Who wants a smartass like me running amuck on digital pages? I’m intelligent enough to stay away from that scene. We’ll see what Michael Ray King thinks of this post. Hopefully he will see the brilliance that defines me. He better, or I might take over his business blog.

Bet I could do a lot of damage there!

Show me the money! Keep me alive!