After much thought I’ve decided that getting out of bed is the single most daunting task of humankind. It goes beyond clipping of toe nails, laundry and paying bills. If there could be a drug manufactured to erase the transition from sleeping to being fully clothed with a cup of extra strength coffee in hand, I will be the first to buy such drug. I’ll buy two years worth, just in case the medication is pulled from the shelf because some egghead found it to cause heart murmurs or scabies or some crap like that. I’ll risk my general health to bypass having to scrap together the will to get out of bed.
I’m not depressed nor am I lazy. I have a worse condition, it’s called being comfy. Believe it or not, this is being written from the Serta Sleeper on the second floor of Brightmoore Street.
Who knows maybe I’ll be able to start a sleep-in – minus Yoko. That way I won’t have to get out of bed. My fellow Rogues will bring me food, right? If not I’ll get sponsors like manufacturers of hot water bottles and memory foam pillows. Can anyone say eight hundred thread count?
Hey, here’s a thought…..let’s have all the Rogues in a sleep-in. That way we can do Oracles every day, I won’t have to get out of bed and sure enough, one of us will answer the door when the pizza guy arrives. Bliss!
Ok, fine…..getting up now.
– Georgie Mae Perez