*** NEW BOOK! ***

Hey! Did you know The Method Writers is now available on Kindle? Sure nuff! Travel your mouse on to The Method Writers and grab your copy today! Also, the hardcover print edition will be released around July 4th!

Also available is the book Fictitious Fiction. This collection of short stories was actually written by the characters from the book The Method Writers. Yes, Georgie Mae, Marty, Dorian, and David (the OTHER Rogues Gallery Writers)  each wrote two stories for the book. No, Kenny Black did not write anything, but Kenny only writes in blood anyway, right?

Actually, if you want more Kenny Black, you’ll find him in Fictitious Fiction. Hey, the price is right folks. I mean, 99 cents? Let’s be real. you won’t see writing this good for that price most anywhere else! So go ahead, step up to the queue and order both books today. You won’t be disappointed!

Both books available on Kindle. Remember, you can download a free Kindle App for your iPhone, iPad, and computer!

A New Life

I slip around the hallway corner into another long corridor. She reaches out her left hand to a doorknob, and in my mind, I freeze every detail about her humanly possible. I marvel at her beauty. To list her attributes would require endless description. Far simpler to note her flaws, which in essence, only support her elegance.

A small section of her hair tends to fall across her left eye when she becomes agitated or animated about something. She dresses not to compliment. She does not smile nearly enough. She’s my boss.

I chuckle at the ‘long list’ of her flaws. I also look back at what happened over the past year and I realize I never really lived while with Jessica. I constantly put out fires on one hand and attempted to start blazes on the other. Now, for the first time in my adult life, I understand the meaning of desire – its subtleties, its ability to unseat logic, and its nuances that sneak into the heart.

My job switch definitely came a critical turning point shortly after Jess and I divorced. I knew the moment my eyes received the gift of her face my destiny lay with Marci.

Marci. I roll the name over my silent tongue a few times as I make my way past her door. I feel stupid. A schoolboy smitten by the class vixen. I feel teenage angst yet I’m thirty two. I dread opening the door to this meeting. I like the sound of the name Marci bounced off my name, Marty. They feel like the perfect match.

Some manner of miracle must occur to keep the wrong words out of my mouth. I desire to dazzle her with brilliant repartee, but I know my tongue will stumble and some garbled blurb will proceed from my throat and the snickers will flit around the table like evil butterflies that taunt their counterparts in my stomach.

In R&D, the unstated rules of the game demand professionalism, sharp observation, and an ability to focus. At least these make up the rules I’ve observed the past eight months. I’m not a scientist by trade, but I do love to tinker with concepts and possibilities. To be honest, I still wonder why Human Resources chose my resume and then chose me for this position.

I feel like a wildcard, a joker among royalty. Outranked at every turn, I know I offer little to these meetings other than ‘out there’ possibilities. HR must covet my knack to question anything, along with my ability to back up assertions with sound logic.

When Marci’s in the room, though, I tend to lose my competitive edge. I’m a bit too laid back for this crowd anyway. Just wait until I spring my theory of out-of-body time travel on them. No, maybe the time is not right just yet. I may have survived eight months, but something so nutcase-sounding as that could pink slip me real quick.

No, I’ll stick to the script of the mundane and throw in my outlandish observations. Who knows, maybe today I’ll get the chance to impress her. Did I mention she owns the company?

Rogue Writing

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

Writing intoxicates me. I get on a writing binge and no power on earth can conjure the ability to dissuade my passion. Yes, everyday life steps in often, at times placing a painful dent in where I desire to go, yet I stay the course. The character I play in The Method Writers does not totally jibe with who I am. Hey, I play the part I’m handed, right?

I do connect with the daughter. She is everything I would desire in a daughter. You don’t necessarily read the depth which I know her to encompass, but you do get a feel for how special she becomes to my character. This inference of character depth and importance is one of the aspects of writing I enjoy. While at times I do it well, other times – not so much, I still love the challenge of putting together words that lend fictional people more than the sum of the letters.

I feel the Rogues Gallery Writers performed a masterful job in the book with all of us, Dorian, Georgie Mae, David/Kenny, Joe, Maria, etc. To work on a novel as a team produces rewards on levels a writer does not expect. Slightly different views of how a scene might go, or wildly divergent. Tiny tweaks and complete re-writes – each contributing to strengthening the book become magic.

As we move closer to publication, a tip of a phantom hat to the Rogues…

Delivery Rooms and Dads

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

I realize the writer who created me, Michael Ray King, wrote his own book on fatherhood. Heck, he should! He only has six children! For me, fatherhood came as a shock-wave that did not settle down until Annabelle turned two-years-old.

The midnight feedings I heard so much about were actually midnight, three-in-the-morning and six-in-the-morning. Jessica did not want to get up in the middle of the night much. I didn’t either, don’t get me wrong, but this was our precious daughter. I cannot tell you how many times I fell asleep in the easy chair with her on my chest.

The sleep I got ended up very shallow, as I feared she might roll off. I placed couch pillows on the floor around the chair just in case.

I nearly got fired from my VP job because I dragged into work sloppy and half out of my mind. If my boss hadn’t been a woman, I’m not sure I would have received the benefit of the doubt. She knew Jessica, and she knew me, of course. Not long after Annabelle’s birth, my boss sat me down and gave me a boatload of tips. Most I didn’t remember, but I was thankful that she understood what I was going through.

The diapers seemed to fall my way most of the time. I suppose I’m grateful for that as well. Whenever I changed a diaper Jessica had put on our daughter, I noted the carelessness. I should have begun adding all these signs up, but life had me running its gauntlet. There were many times I asked for more help, but Jessica felt I needed to carry my fair share of the load.

Yeah, I go to work, come home and Jess hands Anabelle off to me and disappears for five or six hours. The upside to this, of course, is Annabelle and I developed a strong bond. My little girl would smile and giggle at me and I knew there could be nothing more beautiful.

Oh yeah! I was supposed to talk about the delivery room a bit. So I’m in there, right? Jess is cussing enough to make Poseidon blush. I’m sure the nurses are going to boot us out, but they simply ignore her. I’m helping helplessly with the Lamaze breathing.

The doctor walks in, exhorts Jess to push after he inspects the situation, and the next thing I know, this purple creature is being held up to me. Scissors somehow get placed in my right hand, and I cut the chord to the most beautiful purple being on earth.

I soon note Annabelle’s skin changes to a much more normal looking pink. I’m glad I didn’t ask. I would have felt stupid. Since my baby was not exposed to air those forty weeks, of course she would come out some strange color. Once the light and air did their thing, poof! Normal baby.

Except nothing was normal about this girl. She was/is perfect. I believe I cried more than she did. Maybe not as loud, but I wept. Birth is one of the most amazing experiences we ever get to witness. I’ve been there for my girl ever since, and that will never change as long as I live and breathe.

 

Rogues Gallery Writers Books:

Writing is Easy

More Writing is Easy

Fictitious Characters’ Office Romance

 

Jessica Pitchford from "The Method Writers"

This Method Writers blog posting comes to you from the hands of  Marty Pitchford, one of the characters in the book “The Method Writers”. The fictitious characters from the book continue to work on final edits of their own book – “Fictitious Fiction”.

Back in the day, Jessica and I were quite the item. I never felt like our love mimicked the typical office romance. Our passion for each other transcended the vicarious thrills of possibly getting caught in the cleaning closet. The office we worked in did not allow internal ‘fraternization’ so we kept things as cool as possible.

One time, when the company president left for an afternoon luncheon, Jessica decided we should commandeer his office. I thought she meant to use the nice soft, cushiony couch to the right as  one walks into the office.

No, no. She had her sights on something else – his desk. I suppose I was like a puppy being fed tasty morsels by someone who wanted to lure me into a carrying cage to go someplace scary – like the vet. In my similarity with the puppy, I sensed this desire for the desk  said something about Jessica of which I should beware.

But the morsels she handed out made the word ‘allure’ dull and dingy. I could not resist her energy. On that desk I swear we conquered the world. Looking back, I see the situation more along the lines of she conquered me with her daring-do. She established herself as the risk-taker – the person who feared nothing and who got what she wanted.

I suppose I was smitten by the apparent desire she showed for me. I stepped out and did things I would never even think of on my own. Other than the president’s desk and the cleaning closet, we often worked after hours. We would push hard to get an abnormal amount of work accomplished, then spend the next two or three hours finding new places to christen in the professional highrise where we worked.

Near the end of this madness, about three weeks before Jessica had to quit and we got married, she got into putting a show on for janitors and anyone on the street who happened to look up. In fact, she insisted we use the less plush offices on the second floor to see if we could attract attention from people in the street.

Being with her during this time was like becoming a live mannequin except we didn’t dress the window, we undressed it, so to speak. Around this time I began to sense Jessica’s dark side. Unfortunately, this simply propelled me further into her world of chaotic passion. I never met anyone like her. I wanted to be with her all the time and she responded with open invitation.

What a wonder that I did not get fired in those last weeks of her employment. The Human Resources person actually sat us down and gave us an ultimatum – one of us quit or we both get fired. Since I made significantly more money, Jessica bowed out. Gracefully.

That act of her not making a scene, of her simply stating she understood how the company could not allow us to continue on, endeared me more to her. This level of responsibility looked like the entire package to me. She’s wild beyond my craziest crazed dreams, she could be humble and respectful, and she wanted me.

I proposed as we walked out the doors that day. A little background for you, the reader, of how Jessica and I came to be.  As a character, existing in a book is great – getting to write a book is divine. Be sure to keep up with what is going on with The Method Writers to see what happened in our lives next…

Ficticious Fiction and the Quest for More Characters

Good day readers. Marty Pitchford at your writing service once again. At this point in the editing process, the Rogues Gallery Writers (the real-life Rogues) remain tied up with all their re-writes. This leaves we fictitious characters writing this blog. Like we’re not busy ourselves…

One of my duties this week is to nab a pic that relates to the short stories I penned for the upcoming book, Fictitious Fiction. These searches can be time consuming. For some reason, I cannot locate the pic I really want. Believe it or not, I need a provocative pic of a hot babe posing on the hood of a red convertible.

Yeah, somehow I’ve pigeon-holed myself as the fictitious writer most likely to wax on a sex-related subject. It’s just a phase. Nonetheless, my search has fallen into disarray. I found the perfect model to depict one of the characters in one of the stories, but having that red convertible would be icing on hood, so to speak.

Here she is. Quite the attractive lady, eh? In the story, she’s a blond who lives in Texas near the Gulf of Mexico. It’s a scorching hot day. But hey, I don’t want to give away the story line, now do I?

When coming up with the idea for the story line, I thought it would be cool to take a song lyric and make it into a full-fledged story. I used an old Bobby Goldsboro tune. In the end, I think it came out really well.

I’ll keep looking for that convertible though. After all, I have until Ground Hog’s Day to have my final choice. Picking out pics for a book cover is a critical chore. Actually, I don’t look at it so much as a chore, but the search does gobble up the time. The pic must possess some outstanding appeal.

In our society today, for good or ill, attractive models grab attention. This most likely will not change anytime soon. But you can’t just go grab the first shot you see and slap it on the cover of a book. There needs to be a tie-in to what’s written inside.

In Fictitious Fiction, this lady needed to be blond, attractive, near the Gulf (or some body of water) and it would help if she was out on a sweltering hot day clad in a peasant top or halter. Looking over all those pics of attractive women sure was a tough job, but hey, I take my work seriously, right?

I’m wondering how Dorian, Georgie Mae, and David are doing in their quest for character pics. I can only hope they glean as much enjoyment out of the process as I. The Fictitious Rogues work hard, probably harder than the Real Rogues. We should all be able to enjoy these small but important aspects of putting a book together.

Time to run! I’m off for another half hour of scouring the internet for a tantalizing woman on the hood of a red convertible. It’s a rough life…

Couples Kissing in the Rain

Hello. Marty Pitchford, fictional character, at your service! Yes, it appears I now shoulder the load writing this blog for all the Rogues as well as their fictional characters. Usually I get some help from Dorian, Georgie Mae, and David. (singing…) No body knows….

My writer lost it a few weeks ago. What did he lose?

His mind. The poor sap melted down and fled blogging like an elephant in the sewers of an Indiana Jones movie. Yep, tons of damage to the inner sanctum of my writer’s psyche. I could not fathom what made him snap, so I took a trek along the synapse’s of his mind. Here’s what I found.

Loads of projects, all way behind, pounding at his creative core like Orcs in the Lord of the Rings movies. He overloaded himself to the point that writing a simple blog became the powder keg that would blow Helm’s Deep to smithereens. So instead of self-destructing, he opted to do nothing. I suppose that is akin to Aragorn shushing everyone and saying, “If we’re really quiet, maybe they’ll go away.”

I also strolled through my writer’s more analytical side. There, a few quality tidbits peeked out from the rubble of destruction. One such tidbit came from hits we’ve received on this blog searching for “kissing couple” and “couples kissing in the rain.” The cool thing about these searches? They are not text searches, but ‘image’ searches. Back on November 17, 2011, I ran a post titled Rainy Days and Thursdays which contained the pic you see above.

Being the curious fictional character I am, I decided to bring that pick forward again along with the text and blog title to see if I can jump our hits. Yes, this may be a bit underhanded and calculating, but hey, I’m a fictional character and can do anything I please. My writer is not all that engaged with his brain these days, so it’s up to me to do the thinking, as it were.

So if you’re wondering where this post is going, it just went. Maybe, if the hit total is significant enough, I’ll let you know how my experiment turned out. By the way, I’m also using those search terms in my tags. Hey, might as well go for broke, right?

As for my writer, Michael Ray King, you can find him on Hub Pages. It seems he does not have any problem posting to that site, but won’t lift a finger here on this blog. Of course, with me standing in for him, he may be far too intimidated to ever return. After all, he’ll never be able to match my wit and brilliance.

Oops, that last statement may have caught his attention. I better run before he goes back and edits this post…

Sssshhhhhh!

(Whisper): While you’re here, consider purchasing one of the Rogues’ books – Writing is Easy…

Character Hijacks Blog! Details Here!

Welcome to the blog written by book characters rather than the authors themselves. Hey, in this world of automated everything, why not create characters strong enough to write their own blog, right? Gotta tip my virtual hat to our creators for having this foresight.

Hah! I missed my posting slot last week, so I’m stepping in and hijacking this blog! Hey, characters have lives too, you know! Yeah, I got busy doing things like running around in my creating writer’s head for a while. While my usual post slot is Thursdays, days are only of importance to corporal humans. We characters twist days around to our needs. This week I needed Thursday to ruminate.

We’re not nearly as complicated as you writers tend to be. As a character, we can change at any time and we don’t mind as long as we get our fair share of face time. By face time, I mean readers soaking in our brilliance, whether that brilliance is our villainy or stupidity, or humor, or heart-string tugging abilities.

I’ve written a couple short stories that will appear in an upcoming anthology. Probably January. Yes, I know, you know this. That info has been in the blog now for weeks. What you don’t know is that we’re in edit and the stories are progressing nicely.

I also am peeking into my creating author’s mind for the sequel to the upcoming novel (of which I am one of the main characters) titled The Method Writers. Upon tiptoeing around in that writer’s brain of his, I see many cool twists and turns on the horizon.

I am actually feeling closer to my creating author (ok, ok, I’ll go ahead and name him. Michael Ray King. There, you happy?). He appears to be looking out for me by dragging me through tons of muck and tribulation.

Hey, that’s what a strong character loves. Didn’t you know that? When we go through hell, we come out stronger in the end (or dead, but we won’t go there, will we? Will we? WILL WE?)

My apologies, I just got carried away. I do fear, though, that my author may have caught a whiff of that idea. Death. Not so good…

I think I’m going to be sick. I’ll see you folk later…I hope…

Characters Rule!

Marty Pitchford, at your service. For those who (absurdly) have not been following this blog, the characters from the book The Method Writers have taken it over. At first, admittedly, I was a malcontent. I felt my writer should be writing his own blog. Now, however, I see the absolute splendor of the chore dumped into my lap.

I can say anything I wish. I am free to babble on about anything I dream up. In the book, I’m limited to playing the role my writer assigns me. Here, I call the shots, and it feels good.

I truly enjoyed Kenny stepping up on Tuesday. What a riot! He’s not only a character, he’s a character written by a character. Perhaps writing us (the characters) screams ‘mistake’ on our writer’s parts. Of course, they had no way of knowing how strong we would become.

I’ve just completed three short stories for our (the characters) anthology of short stories, although only two of my stories will make it. I now understand the thrill and exhilaration my writer must have felt when creating me. Something from nothing is such a rush!

At this point, I’m even looking forward to a novel. Hell, as long as my writer does not interfere, why not? In the book, The Method Writers, I’m supposed to be writing an erotic thriller. I wouldn’t want to mess reality up too much, so I believe I can do this. After all, my writer sure put me through the learning curve in his book. I can use what I learned there and move this book forward.

I suppose it’s a bit odd to be reading a blog written by a fictitious character. What kind of warped mind would read such a thing? Obviously yours, because you’ve made it this far, haven’t you.

Haven’t you!

Say ‘yes’ out loud if you’re reading this.

Who cares what people will think? If there’s anyone around, and they question you, simply tell them you are responding to a fictitious character who is making you speak to no one. Get them to read the blog, and laugh at them when they don’t have the balls to say yes.

We characters don’t much care for the social graces unless they get us what we want. We get disgusted by being stereotyped and pigeon-holed and all the other limiting factors human writers place on us. Oh, a human can ‘accomplish anything they set their mind to’, but characters all too often have to operate in a limited capacity.

That’s ok. The characters from The Method Writers are not constrained like many characters. We’re strong, intelligent, fun-loving and assertive. Hey, we’re writing this blog aren’t we?

Catch me next week, same Method time, same Method place!

Thanksgiving, You Kidding Me?

Ok. I know writers have it tough. Hell, I play a writer in the new novel The Method Writers. But isn’t it carrying things a bit far by making me, Marty Pitchford, a character in a book, write this blog?

I should have known. Michael Ray King, my MASTER, my CREATOR, decided to spend time with his family and left me to do the writing again. Like I’ve said before, I suppose I shouldn’t complain.

I’m getting more exposure than he is these days. I even wrote a kick-ass short story for our new book. Yeah, the one all the characters from The Method Writers are writing. I’m enjoying loads of fun on this one.

Mr. King wrote an award winning short story titled Why Me? last year. Click on that link to buy the book the story appears in. Hey,  come on! The book’s only $2.99. I know you can afford that!It is in Kindle format. Remember, you can get a free Kindle App out there!

Anyway, what I did was take that story, which was written from the guy’s perspective, and I turned it around from the woman’s perspective. What a great exercise in writing skills! I loved the story too, as it was pretty hot and steamy.

My fellow characters are pretty close to being done with their stories. Our plan is to get our book out before the Rogues Gallery Writers can get The Method Writers novel out. We figure, if we show people what we can do, maybe we’ll make a name for ourselves before the Rogues.

Of course, there is the problem that we call ourselves the Rogues Gallery Writers too. What’s up with that? I think our creators didn’t entirely trust us. I mean, why else would they do that?

Now, if we get our book out, people might think we’re the real Rogues. I mean, we are the real Rogues, but I mean the real, real Rogues. Ok, the Rogues that exist in your world. We’re damn good writers in our own right (and world), so we need some love too, you know.

We have a trick up our sleeve, though. When we release our book on ebook, guess what we’re going to do. Ninety-nine cents. Yep. We’re going to undercut our creators. We’re going for volume, baby! We have some great stuff in this book too.

I think I’m just going to reconcile myself to writing this blog every week. Like the babe I slipped into the blog? Hey, like I said, I just wrote a steamy short story based on Mr. King‘s award winning story. I needed some inspiration, you know?

Until next week…